My tryst with Carnatic music !

“If music be the food for love, play on”.

I live by this quote. In a pretentious, trying too hard to be utopic world, music is the only thing which is perhaps close to a real emotion. If people ask me to name one thing which i miss in Japan, then the answer would be my music classes, and the associated cultural diaspora with it.
So, my tryst with carnatic vocal music started together when i started singing in Christ Church Youth Choir, not that i was fit to be called to be in a “youth” group, because i was already close to 28 then. But, after a long, long time i decided that it’s high time that i do justice to the musical side of me, and therefore, the choir was only the beginning, but the only problem was, i wasn’t that good with English songs and had no idea about the order of the mass either. But interestingly, i was lucky enough to be taught by my student, during daytime i was her teacher, and during evening practice in church and on sundays, she was the choir master. Simultaneously, another student of mine introduced me to Carnatic vocal music.
Since childhood, i had always grown up listening to carnatic songs, given my tamil background, but never had a chance to learn it, since there were no options in North India for such thing way back in the 90s. But anyway, better late than never.
When i moved from Manipal to Bhopal, finding a teacher for Carnatic music was difficult. So, after several emails to Bhopal Tamil Association and after several calls, i got a chance to learn carnatic from Mrs.Shantha B.K. Iyer, what a lady ! Amazing voice even at the age of 68, she encouraged me to sing more. I told her that i am not confident since generally, people start learning music at a very young age. She told me the exact same thing as my previous student-teachers had told me, that nothing is impossible if you practice. Well, i did it, and now Carnatic vocal music and Church Choir music has become my lifeline.

My lifeline while battling with struggles to get a Phd position, and my encouragement while struggling with depression. Music is like a therapy, indeed. Even though, it was quite difficult to practice after coming back dead tired from work, i tried hard. During these days, one particular song caught my attention, “Naino mein badra chaaye” based on Raaga Bhimpalas from an old hindi movie. What a song, and i practised it several times with my Shruthi box. So much, that even my neighbors in Bhopal became aware of my singing. (Anyone will be, if you sing at 2a.m in the night, when the world sleeps).
Then content writing with Anahad foundation happened and i got to actually write about music. Music and writing, two of my passions combined. Even though, these two things have absolutely nothing to do with my career, yet, i proudly mention them on my resume.
When you feel down and feel that you can’t take it anymore, sing.
Somehow, the music has started to fade from my life, but still, i try to keep it alive here by joining a choir again.
But, it’s not easy to give up old habits, and music has become a habit. It is something which helps me focus, and i just lose myself in it. Out of hanging out with friends and listening to Carnatic music with a good cup of tea, i would always chose the latter. :P

The question really is, how to keep your attention focused to things which you are actually supposed to do ? Like doing your research, doing the language class homework, or the numerous assignments ? When you have too many passions, its almost “Jack of all trades, and master of none”. Yes, i do lose hope that i may never be able to master learning music, or research, or a new language, but then, i enjoy the journey and learning process, without stressing myself over the outcome too much.
I can write a 6 page research paper while simultaneously listening to Bombay Jayashree’s Sindhu Bhairavi Thillana or i can work on my presentation while losing myself in the melodies of “Kanha main tose haari”. Welcome to the new age multitasking people !

When i started learning music, i wasn’t encouraged by many, who didn’t like my voice. Well, haters gonna hate you anyway, but i tried to remain positive without caring much about what others think. Haters can go to hell. Nothing makes me happier than discussing about music, arts, culture, history, and the list is long….!!

Even though these days are full of struggle, and i sit down dejected at times, when i seem to be the only dumb person in the language class, or when i am unable to explain my “research questions” in lab seminars, or when i am just too overwhelmed at times when there is nobody to talk to, music always comes to the rescue.
So either you can give way to dejection, or find new things to do. I choose the latter. New things, new city, new friends, new language, new paperwork, new research, new assignments, but the music and the playlist on my laptop remains the same. In a world thats constantly changing, music has become like that never aging friend who is always by your side.

Because, that is the real me.

So, its 2:28 am on a hot, sultry night in Kyoto, and i am listening to MS Subbalakshmi’s Thillana in Raaga Dhanasri, could it “be” more perfect ??

Cheers.

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