My Experience With a Narcissistic Boss

Narcissists have an exaggerated image of themselves and require constant feedback to justify their perceived omnipotence. They refuse to accept blame, will manipulate people and events for their own self-serving purposes, and react with rage when their omnipotence is questioned or threatened. It is estimated that less than one percent of the population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Most narcissists, about 75 percent, are men. With a world population of approximately 6.5 billion people, about 16,250,000 narcissists are female. I had the unpleasant experience of working for one of them. I found it hard to reconcile in my mind how this woman could be gregarious and personable outside the office and be indifferent, demanding, and hard to please when not surrounded by an adoring and fawning audience until I discovered the definition of NPD about a year ago.

A narcissist requires excessive admiration and will place themselves in a position to receive it. Narcissists are experts at making people admire them. Time and again I witnessed people fall under the spell of this woman’s grandiose and exuberant tales of successes, one-up-man-ships, unequaled brilliance, and self-confidence. Typical of a narcissist, she is adept at becoming the center of attention in any circumstance and can be quite charming. Early in my exposure to her I, too, fell under her spell. I was in awe of someone who demanded and received favorable priority treatment from everyone. Through my association with her I met television personalities and national government figures. I also heard her malign and ridicule those same people when they did not jump at the opportunity to do her bidding. When a television personality’s schedule did not permit him to make a reappearance at our national conference, he was referred to as a sawed-off little twerp who is more concerned with his television ratings than in helping the law enforcement profession. When the attorney general refused to take her grant request out of the chain of command and push it for approval, he was called a Mexican yes-man with no backbone.

Narcissists demonstrate arrogant and haughty attitudes coupled with rage when contradicted or questioned. My initial first-hand experience with this occurred when, during a friendly after-work drink, our boss asked a co-worker and me what needed to be…

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