The Sleeper Train from Berlin To Krakow

I searched the room to find the source of the noise. Maybe it was the airconditioning, that had been set to an inferno level temperature. Was the window open? Maybe something was loose and I could stuff a towel somewhere to dampen the high-pitched ringing siren sound. I resigned myself to the fact that it was just how the train sounded and I should have brought earplugs.

I was travelling between Berlin and Krakow on a Polish sleeper train. I had planned to fly to Berlin, get the train and then spend a few days exploring Krakow. I booked the whole thing a day before I left and spent so long buying flights that the single tickets for the train sold out. I ended up waiting two days in Berlin with the plan to fly out of Krakow a few hours after arriving.

The train splurted into life and started its crawl from Berlin HBF station towards the Polish border. I was staying in a single deluxe, featuring en-suite, free juice, snacks and disposable towel the size of a napkin. I booked a 2nd class ticket and the deluxe upgrade was a bonus. I didn’t know what to expect. The Polish carriage was older and far more functional. There was no grand dining car. The conductor guarded the door. I gave him my ticket and he said “Krakow” and “room thirty-two”. That’s all the information I had.

I arrived at the station too early. The departures board seemed to only give train information for the next 40mins and I had 2 hours. Berlin’s central station is cavernous. Its staircases seem to move like in Hogwarts and there are hardly any seats. My train was scheduled to depart at 18:43. I had been kicked out of my Ibis Budget at midday and had six hours to kill. You can get an all-day ticket for Berlin’s city trains and I had spent that time riding all over the place jumping off at random stops.

I walked around the station several times. McDonald’s was closed for refurbishment so I bought a bagel and sat in Dunkin’ Donuts. German station toilets cost €1.5 to use but were very clean. Outside a man dressed in 80s running gear complete with headband danced to an imaginary song. He had a well-groomed Spaniel that looked on, bemused. The station is good for people watching.

There’s a Rewe supermarket at the station and so I stocked up on snacks. A giant bag of Pain au chocolat, Kefir, Bavarian beer, chocolate sticks and gum. The essentials. As we rumbled through the dark German countryside I made a start on the beer and watched the night rush by. I hadn’t eaten much all day and the Bavarian beer went to my head. The small space, artificial lighting and every jolt of the train heightened the alcohol’s effect. I started climbing all over the compartment to explore, using the luggage racks as monkey bars. I almost did my ankles in jumping from the top bunk.

I switched the lights off to afford myself better night vision and stared into the gloom covered countryside. Berlin’s bright lights gave way to suburbs then industrial outskirts and finally, little towns and villages that appeared only for an instant. After an hour the train stopped as it prepared to cross a bridge on the river Oder, Germany’s frontier with Poland. There were 14 stations to stop at before Krakow. A lot seemed to consist of a single station building and a platform. The station buildings often had the name of the location painted in giant letters on the facade. This was helpful for navigation and keeping track of our progress. We were going to be arriving in Krakow at 5:30 am and I decided to try and sleep.

I am not a good sleeper and find it hard on planes. The train despite having a better bed was far more animated. I stripped the top bunk of its bedding to make the journey more comfortable. I don’t know how much sleep I got but it was interrupted every hour. I’d wake to feel another carriage being shunted. On another occasion, we must have been on a fast bit of rail as the driver was letting it rip. I clung to the side of the bunk as we rounded the corner at speed. Despite the sensation of sleeping in a washing machine, it was a lot of fun. Sometimes when I awoke a fluorescent glare was intruding under the window blinds. I’d throw them up to reveal some cold platform. People stood swathed in clothing with a hood pulled low and scarfs around their faces. These shadowy figures either joined our train or departed for the darkness of the town. Soon we were moving again and I threw my blinds down and tried to sleep.

Finally, I gave up at 3:30 am and resigned myself to the fact I was awake. I decided to try and use the shower. The water was push-button operated. It indicated that hot water was available but after a long wait I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I’d have to brave the cold. I did that in and out dance as your body goes into shock and I tried to get clean as quickly as possible. The towel provided was tiny and I had to ring it out a few times to get the job done. The bathroom floor was covered in water so I closed the door and thought it best not to go in there ever again.

We rolled into Krakow on time and I was so tired my brain was running on survival mode. I expected Krakow Glowny station to be a grand old building (and there is one) but we were deposited into a bright new station with a shopping centre attached. I found the only open coffee shop and sat nursing a cappuccino for an hour. As I messed up my times I had to now get to the airport by midday.

I decided to go on a little mission around Krakow’s historic centre at 6:30 am. It was still dark but getting lighter. I didn’t know much about the city but its historicness is impressive. Several medieval squares are ringed by churches and fortifications. The streets were pleasantly quiet like walking around a museum at night.

Slowly things came to life as narrow trams transported people to work and bakeries started to open. Krakow apparently is big with stag parties. The first evidence I saw of this was a zombified guy in a t-shirt staggering towards me. I tried to not make eye contact. As I got within arms distance he lunged at me. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I was able to easily dodge his flailing grab. I found myself saying “no thanks mate”, as I moved into some approximation of a defensive stance. I don’t know why I said that. He laughed and burbled incoherently in a distinctly Scottish brogue before wandering into the road. I saw a few more revellers passed out in doorways. They attracted disdainful glares from passing commuters.

I headed back to the station and boarded another train for the airport. It would have been easier, cheaper and less tiring to fly between Berlin and Krakow. I would like to tell you that I chose the train to save carbon but I did it for the experience. I would put it in the category of thing that are more fun once they’re over. I didn’t sleep much but the feeling of boarding a night train and waking up in a new country ticks all those travel cliche boxes. I would, however, recommend bringing earplugs and maybe another beer.

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