Emotional affairs. The dream that turns into a nightmare

It was in the depths of a challenging period for our young family that I fell into the arms of the affair. With hindsight, I was a period in which I was feeling lost, exhausted, and anxious. I no longer had a balanced perspective on life. Not that this is a justification for what happened.

What was the danger? We lived continents apart. No-one would ever know. I just, kind-of, let it happen. And it gave me the buzz and a thrill of a lifetime. This beautiful young lady actually found me attractive and admired me?? I could not believe it.

A month after saying goodbye to her at the airport, I was back in my regular routine and family life. A total cheeseball romantic song came on the radio. Suddenly I was missing her. I wondered what she was doing. I wondered if I could see her again. I started thinking about her all the time. My emails to her became more personal and intense, and so did her replies.

We would wait anxiously for each other’s emails, wondering what we would share with each other next. Everything we wrote seemed to show we were a perfect fit. I spent day and night thinking about her. I imagined what life would be like together, and how I could arrange to see her.

At this time, I had a beautiful young family, with a precious baby to take care of. I had been together for seven loving years with my wife, four of which married, and we had just settled in a new country together. We were a young, married couple with our full lives ahead of us, exactly as you would imagine it.

Yet my heart felt torn in two. I thought I had met my soulmate in the affair. It was torture. Can you imagine anything more crazy?

The danger and poison that hides within an emotional affair is that it makes you doubt the relationship that you have already, right now, in front of you. A relationship that you have probably mutually invested in with your partner for years, with immeasurable love and care.

The affair was like a drug that overpowered any sense of reality or rational thinking.

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